


Could Be Worse

by morethanmending



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Cannibalism Puns, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 10:16:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8485495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanmending/pseuds/morethanmending
Summary: Jim, Spock, and Leonard crash land on an uncharted planet in an uncharted system but, hey, it could be worse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt: "getting lost"

\---

A massive bonfire lit the clearing like day. Flames licked high into the night and sparks flew, glittered, before dying on the wind. The natives danced and shouted, orange light shimmering across their scaled skin. Spears and batons were thrust wildly towards the sky and the thick leather of their clothing rustled and creaked as they moved.

Across the clearing blazed another fire, smaller, with an empty spit and a crank standing at the ready.

Jim stared at the fire, expression one of forced calm. "Could be worse."

Leonard and Spock turned their heads in unison and stared at their captain. Spock appeared stoic as ever, shoulders back, face neutral. 

Leonard looked half a breath away from an aneurysm. 

Jim met his heated glare head-on. "Well it could be," he said.

"The hell you say," Leonard hissed, careful to attract as little attention as possible. "We're about to be main course for some pagan feast on a bit of rock that no one even knows exists. Damn fools don't even have the decency to kill us before they stick us in the oven. Pretty sure this is about as bad as it gets."

Spock lifted an eyebrow. "Technically-"

"Shut it," Leonard growled, casting a wary eye at the natives. "Unless you're about to tell us how the hell we're getting out of this mess, I don't want to hear it."

Spock considered, then closed his mouth.

Leonard sighed and rolled his shoulders. The bindings were uncomfortably tight. They were each tied fast with thick fibrous rope, wrapped around their chest, thighs, and wrists. They had each made an attempt at breaking free over the last hour as they stood at the edge of the camp, an unwilling audience to the natives' bizarre ceremony. They wiggled, pulled, and at one point, in Jim's case, gnawed on the rope in a desperate bid for freedom, but the ties held fast and the guards were always quick to intervene. A wickedly curved blade thrust towards Jim's crotch was enough to subdue his efforts.

Now the trio stood, clustered together, docile and mostly still as they waited out their fate. The guards, so cautious of them at first, had slowly begun to lose interest, bright black eyes caught on the wild gyrations of their brothers and sisters.

Leonard shook his head as he watched. "Of all the ways I thought I might die…"

Jim smiled. "Didn't see this one coming?"

Leonard gave a half-hearted shrug as Spock glanced over his shoulder, surveying their position. "It was pretty low on the list."

"Yeah, well," Jim said, wiggling his hands once more, rubbing them back and forth as he attempted to slip free. "Put that list away. We're getting out of here."

Leonard frowned, watching Jim's futile struggles. "How?" he asked, voice thick with skepticism.

"I don’t know," Jim grunted, angry red marks forming along his wrists. "I’m working on it."

Spock turned, keen eyes cutting through the dark.

"Quit that," Leonard muttered, moving closer to Jim. "You'll hurt yourself. Might get infected."

Jim huffed a laugh. "Thought we were dying here today, Doctor," he said.

"Thought we _weren't_ , Captain," Leonard countered, brows drawn tight across his forehead.

"We're not," Jim agreed, teeth gritting as he struggled with the ropes. "We'll be home before you know it."

Leonard rolled his eyes, gaze catching on the stars. " _How_?"

"We could simply leave," Spock chimed, turning back to face the two men.

Jim and Leonard paused. Two sets of eyes blinked in Spock's direction.

"It seems," Spock elaborated, "that we are not currently under anyone's supervision."

Jim and Leonard stared, expressions frozen in stunned disbelief, before turning to take a look for themselves.

Their guards, it seemed, had abandoned their watch, pulled forward by the hypnotic lure of the flickering flames. They danced now with the others, swallowed by the crowd as they added their voices to the frenzied chant.

Jim lifted an eyebrow, impressed. "Good observation, Spock."

Spock inclined his head. "Thank you, Captain."

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Leonard mumbled, edging back into the shadows. "Let's leave the niceties for later and get the hell out of here."

Grinning, Jim followed, ducking low as he skirted the shrubs that dotted the clearing. Spock brought up the rear, watching for any indication that their departure was noticed.

It was not.

Several hundred yards later they were deep into a field, tall grass nearly over their heads and nary a native in site. Jim elbowed Leonard, gold shirt barely visible under the distant starlight. "Told ya."

"Don't want to hear it," Leonard said.

"Aw," Jim wheedled. "Don't pout just because we survived."

"Hey," Leonard said. "We ain't out of this yet. There's still plenty of time for us to die."

Jim shook his head good-naturedly. "There's just no pleasing some people," he called back to Spock, but he smiled as he blazed forward, cutting a path towards their downed craft and the communication equipment on board.

"Well," Spock said, pulling even with Leonard as they walked, steps light and even. His gaze slid towards Leonard's, catching his eye. "I suppose it could be worse."

Leonard's frown was lost in the dark as Spock moved forward to join his captain, leaving the doctor to mutter to himself as they continued on their way.

\---

End.


End file.
